Moral of the Story

There once was a peacock who very much wanted to fly, but due to the fact that peacocks are completely flightless, his wish was impossible. One day, a bull approached the miserable peacock.

"I want to fly, and I'm not sure why I can't," the peacock said, "all the other birds seem to fly just fine".

"Perhaps it is because you are too beautiful" said the bull.

Moral: Animals are idiots.

A caveman and his gay caveman friend were sitting around a fire. Eventually, the fire began to dwindle. The straight caveman poked the fire with a stick until it roared once again. This happened several times before the two cavemen realized they were rather hungry. 

"I kill food. Dino steak." Said the straight caveman.

"Mmm, I am just starving! That sounds faaabulous!!!" said the gay caveman.

While the straight caveman was out tackling dinosaurs, the fire began to dwindle once more. The gay caveman picked up a nearby stick and prodded the fire. Suddenly, he was straight.

Moral: Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

Betty and George were best friends. One day, Betty didn't like George's sweater. After several hours of debating, Betty stabbed George in the heart.

Moral: True friends stab you in the front.

Cassandra was terribly ugly. She was so incredibly ugly. She was just really really ugly. One day, a group of slightly ugly to attractive people walked past her. A boy stopped in front of Cassandra as the rest of the group walked by. He stared into her eyes for a while. Then, carefully, he reached into his backpack, pulled out some air freshener, and sprayed all of the contents onto Cassandra's face.

Moral: Ugly people are associated with being smelly

A farmer and his wife had a goose that laid a golden egg every day. They supposed that the goose must contain a lump of gold in its inside, and in order to get the gold they sliced the goose open. To their surprise, the goose had the insides of any other goose. 

A man in a suit witnessed the incident and approached the couple.

"I know a goose that does have gold on the inside." He said, handing them a picture of a man, "This goose is at the Golden Casino every weekend"

Moral: Don't kill for money...unless the Mafia tells you to.