Nineteen

I really do try to make this blog stupid. I mean, that's my goal (you can EASILY tell by my previous posts) but I can't really put this post on my "everyday blog" because it's...too big? AND it just doesn't fit. I guess. So here we go, bear with me...or don't.

Well, I'm nineteen now, so different than eighteen, right? Okay, maybe not. But it feels surprisingly different. It's not exactly a monumental birthday...not a sweet 16, legal adult 18, super awesome drinking 21..or anything like that, but it really has got me thinking. The year has sped by so quickly, and everything has changed so much. Friends coming and going...friends changing...me changing. Everything is different and so much harder. Also, before I continue...

Available. Check it.

I kid I kid. Well, I'm serious, but I'm not. You know? You know. We're good. Here we go.
Back to friends coming and going. It's all a part of growing up I guess, which makes me sound super young, but it is. People grow and people grow apart.  It seems that a lot of people have a "forever friend" not someone they will be friends with forever and ever (although I'd like to think so) but someone they've been friends with "for forever".
...Like Shawn and Gus!

I guess my forever friend would be Emily, and by "I guess" I mean I know. We've been friends since 2nd grade..so like forever.

Emily and I having fun :)

But there's something about us and different schools. We were friends all through elementary school and enjoyed sock skating, swimming, walking, Barbies (oh yeah), sleepovers, everything! But after our ever so important and life-changing 6th grade graduation we went to different middle schools, and didn't talk our whole 7th grade year. But her school closed down and our friendship reignited in 8th grade. We stayed great great friends 'til graduation when she went to UVU and it was BYU for me. We lamely grew apart yet again, and it saddens me very greatly. Especially since we can't possibly go to the same schools or even be in school forever. In any case, she's in China now and despite drifting apart for the last year, I miss her a lot. A lot a lot.

Thick and Thin Friends

Then there's the thick and thin friends. You know, the friends that will be your friends no matter how many stupid decisions you make, or how rude you are to them, or anything like that. True friends.  These are my thick and thin friends :) With a few additions...you know who you are. I've done some real jerky stuff to these guys, but not only do they forgive me, they never ask for an apology. I don't hang out with them enough...especially for being such awesome people and such outstanding friends.

Best Friends

Then there's best friends. I have a lot of best friends...because I think it's anyone that's not just a "friend friend" You can talk to them about anything. They don't judge you. They listen. They care. They love. My "forever friends" and "thick and thin" friends are most certainly best friends, but I have others as well. Most of my best friends will hopefully become "forever" and "thick and thin" friends, but that's up to time :) And time really does change things. Best friends are the ones that come and go the most, second only to "friend friends". Best friends meet new friends, move, get in relationships, and move on. They're the toughest friends to have, the greatest cause of pain, and the easiest to love.

They're in there <3

Talk to friend. ;)

Another type of friend which often...as in always...overlaps with "best friends" are the talk to friends. For some reason, you can just talk to some people. Others...not so much. Sometimes when you talk to people, everything comes out wrong and nothing comes right, it's like you're venting wrong...and how is that even possible? But it is, with some people...and you have no idea what they think of you afterward, but those are NOT the "talk to friends". Even though, I think a lot of people have a tendency to talk to not-talk-to friends...am I rambling? Yes. Guess you, reader, are NOT a "talk to friend". haha, but these friends are ones that you hide nothing from, because you don't want to, and you don't need to. They care enough to ask, but they don't pretend to care. And more often than not, you don't even have to have any type of serious discussion with a talk-to friend, or even hang out with them that often. When you've snagged a "talk-to-friend," you can just tell. 

Anyway, sometimes friends are hard to understand. Sometimes one friend cares about another too much, sometimes not enough. Sometimes friends hurt each other. Sometimes friends don't mesh as much as they thought. But in any case, friends are friends. To mine, I say thank you. And I give you this
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With love,
Nikole