More How-to's

I know that all you thousands of readers....ahem....right, thousands of readers are anxiously awaiting a new How-to post. So, here ya go! I really wanna help y'all this time, so this stuff is REALLY applicable to your life. No joke.

Without further ado (way outdated somewhat stupid phrase) here they are!

With the really crappy, I mean, important thing called prison of work and torture and failure, I mean, school coming up, I figure I should help get you ready with

How To Get Money

Step 1.) Find some person, company, or organization that has lots and lots and lots and lots

and lots and lots of money and values education.

Step 2.) If the whatever you found lets people send in essays and stuff for cash, then write a really sappy essay. In fact, you can borrow this one I wrote:

"To say I deserve this money is a ghastly understatement, I am brilliant and strong, even though I grew up in a, frankly, terrible home. My parents treat me rough. With all their marijuana, they won't give me a puff. They didn't wanna

have me, but somehow I was had. As you can see, my life was really bad.

My daddy beats my mommy, my mommy clobbers me, my grandpa is

a Commie, my grandma pushes tea, my sister wears a mustache, my brother

wears a dress, it's a miracle that I'm not a mess.

I also survived three assassination attempts, two unfortunate suicide

attempts, three types of cancer, and gingivitis. Clearly, I'm strong and

deserving of this scholarship."

Step 3.) Send it

Step 4.) Wait

Step 5.) Get it

This could be considered education related, but I believe it applies to something

much more important: Social Life. However...it's not exactly positive for your

social life, in fact, it kind of makes you look like a dork, but it could be useful.

How To Make a Click-able Link

Click Here Gorgeous

I lied. I'm not gonna tell you. But enjoy this website, stay on for at least three minutes

because something really cool happens!!! If you really wanna know how, Click Here Dork...heehee, so dorky.

How To Tell Someone A Hurtful Truth

1.) Corner the victim...er, person with an unfortunate quality, in a secluded area

2.) Make yourself more intimidating by screaming and shouting--flail your arms about! Do whatever you can to look aggressive and big. If you have a pack or bike or branch

--anything--hold it over your head to look bigger (This way they won't attack

after you reveal the unfortunate truth to them)

3.) Tell it to 'em straight. ex: "You are fat and uncoordinated."

4.) Leave, if they are really upset, don't feel bad, that just means they are weak

How To Play the Video Game Alan Wake

1.) Don't

That's all for now folks!