Don't get me wrong, I'm lovin college, but it's not all that fun to write about what you like; writing about what you DON'T like is where it's at! So, BYU, prepare to be bashed!!! (Tee Hee)
Now, I'm sure you've all heard of the movie Ten Things I Hate About You, I, coincidently, hate that movie. But the cleverness of it being the title of this blog was too great/I'm not clever so that's all I could think of...and therefore, here are (buh buh da buh da da da buh da da da da da da buh bumpty buh boppity boppity buh du bu du du bu du du bumpity bumpity duh)
Ten Things I Hate About BYU:
1.) Parking: Who am I kidding? Parking? I can't hate what's not there, and parking most certainly does not exist here! You would think with all the news of "young adults" texting and facebooking and reading and brushing their teeth and making out and playing the flute and checking if their pits stink and piercing their ears and getting drunk and screaming and doing homework and washing their socks and painting masterpieces and baking soufflé and getting their braces adjusted and shaving their legs and brushing their hair and watching Zombieland and playing X-box and putting out fires and dancing and painting their nails and doing their chores and licking various objects and eating chilli and buying crap off of iTunes and using the john while driving, that they would realize that a lot of "young adults" DRIVE! Meaning they could HAVE cars!!! MEANING we need parking spots!!! MORE of them!!!!
2.) The Walk to Church: We don't even go to church in an ACTUAL church it's some random building...so WHY did they have to pick a random building that was far away and up a hill and full of a zillion other Y kids who all go to church???? I'm just saying, they might as well have church in our own dorm building. Gah!!!
3.) Honor Code: Some stuff in the Honor Code is good...and needed, but other stuff is just stupid. Lame hours for guys being in our dorm room is one of them. I don't really care too much, because it's not like any guys come over that I know...well, Andrew, but he doesn't really count as a guy. ALSO, my roommate got sent home from a dance because her shorts were too short. Let me emphasize the actual length of her shorts...ahem, NOT AT ALL SHORT! They were like at her knees. So, that was ridiculous. Basically, everything is against the honor code. (I'm gonna listen to Take it Off and Hollaback Girl anyway!!! Suck it!
4.) Can't Get Illegal Music: I love music, I hate paying for it. Is that a crime? (well...it is, but..) I haven't gotten illegal music, because I didn't really want to...until now, when I am poor, but guess what? I can't! BYU BLOCKED it! It's like not even a free country...er campus...here.
5.) Meat Market: Meat Market? Yes. Meat Market. What in the flippin' world is a meat market? Well, I will tell you. When you go to a butcher shop (aka "meat market") you see a world full of different meat. Ribs, steak, roasts, you name it, but you don't want to get some crappy meat with way nasty parts, so you inspect the meat carefully knowing you'll get some in the end. BYU is a meat market. The meat? Girls. The shopper? Boys. It's kind of ridiculous.
6.) Zoobies: The word "zoobie"is slang for the stereotypical BYU student. Here's what I dislike about them. Joggers: There is a BILLION joggers around campus all the time! From 4a.m to 10p.m. Somehow, they get away with ignoring the Honor Code in their tiny shorts and skimpy shirts. Bikers: Bikers ride around campus with their super smug looks, knowing they are getting around thirty times easier than us poor walkers (p.s. I'm wearing my sexy boots no matter how far I have to walk!) Romance: Everyone has to have a romantic something going on in their lives...EVERYONE.
7.) Homework: I knew the homework load would go up with the whole "jump to college" thing, but SHEESH! Week one and I already have three papers due, three hundred pages of reading, and a whole load of other crud. Luckily, in one of my classes my teacher said, and I quote, "If you don't get an A in this class you should be embarrassed, because it's very easy." But, golly, that's only one of SEVEN classes. Poop.
8.) BYU Internet: Why? You have to agree to some weird thing EVERY time you get on the internet on campus. Basically saying you won't do anything bad or naughty, you'd think they'd have a little trust in the students. I'm not saying I disagree completely with it. I hate gross internet stuff as much as the next guy, but I don't like reading a long statement every time I wanna go on the internet. It's also very slow.
9.) Difference in Standards: I thought that at BYU everyone would have the same standards, boy was I WRONG. Some people get offended at absolutely everything "Hey, what's up?" "Um...let's change the subject that's inappropriate" But some people are pretty chill with everything. AND I DON'T KNOW WHO IS WHO!!!! It's rather annoying.
10.) The (fill in blank) is broken: Things in this dorm tend to not work right.
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