Deliciousness

I should really just turn this into a "how to" blog. Anyway, so, I invent recipes...and like 1 out of 20 times, they actually taste good. So, here's a few of 'em, sorry my measurements are vague...but accurate :D Oh, and I named them really greatly.

Zucchini Recipe That Doesn't Suck

• Two Regular size Zucchinis...or something similar
• Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese to your liking (I put like 3/4 cup-ish of the two combined)
• 1 1/2 Tablespoons of parsley
  
• Teaspoon of garlic salt
• Olive oil (enough to coat bottom of pan)

Ahem, sooo...chop up the zuccini into chunks (cut in half or fourths then slice). Then heat the olive oil in a frying pan, add and saute zuccini. Throw in the garlic, and saute til the zuccini is tender (but not gross and mushy). Put in the cheese, and stir it around til it's a gooey cheesy delicious mass of greenish deliciousness. Enjoy.
By the way, I made this for a family dinner and NONE was left. I'm brilliant.

Nikookies (the ones that finally don't taste really really gross)

¼ tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. baking soda

6 packs of instant oatmeal

½ cup butter

1 egg

½ cup white granulated sugar

½ cup brown sugar

½ tsp. vanilla extract

1 tbsp. milk

½ cup raisins

½ cup dried cranberries

Read more: How to Make Oatmeal Cookies With Instant Oatmeal | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4913358_make-oatmeal-cookies-instant-oatmeal.html#ixzz0v6OtJfF7

• 1 cup flour
• 1/4 tsp of baking powder
• 1/2 tsp of baking soda
• 4 packets of banna flavored oatmeal
• 2 packets of strawberry flavored oatmeal (seriously though, the oatmeal can be whatever flavor)
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla....or more
• Tablespoonish of milk

Preheat oven to 350. Combine flour, oatmeal, baking powder, and baking soda in a bowl and put aside. Compine softened (or melted) butter, egg, sugars, vanilla, and milk in another bowl. Add dry ingredients. Then normal cookie drill, put teaspoonish size balls onto greased cookie sheet. Shove it in the oven ten min. or golden brown (that phrase is stupid. If I could bake gold, I would not be wasting my time inventing cookie recipes) Cool, eat.

Really Sweet (not in a sugary way) Pasta

• 4 0z (I think) of creamcheese
• 1/4 cube of butter
• Italian seasoning
• Milk
• Other cheese you think is yummy
• Whole wheat pasta

Start cooking pasta. Melt butter and creamcheese in a saucepan. Add milk until it's a good consistancy. Sprinkle in a fair emount of Italian seasoning (or garlic salt, or really anything). Throw in some other cheese. Mix with pasta. Yum. (Plus my recipe is so vague you'll feel really cool if your version actually tastes good, which I'm almost positive it will)

If I ever put my invented recipes up again...I'll include pictures. :P

¼ tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. baking soda

6 packs of instant oatmeal

½ cup butter

1 egg

½ cup white granulated sugar

½ cup brown sugar

½ tsp. vanilla extract

1 tbsp. milk

½ cup raisins

½ cup dried cranberries

Read more: How to Make Oatmeal Cookies With Instant Oatmeal | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4913358_make-oatmeal-cookies-instant-oatmeal.html#ixzz0v6OtJfF7

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Annoy

Hello.
Often, people are dumb, and I mean OFTEN! Sometimes dumb people make you sad. Solution? Revenge.
SO, I came up with a lovely list of ways to annoy people, and get revenge, without hurting someone's feelings "intentionally". (of course, it is intentional, but they don't have to know that.)

• Reply to someone with "That's what you think."
• Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read
• Never OR Always laugh at what they say
• Spel eezy wordz rong
• At a restaurant, consistently keep on sending your food back saying "that's not what I ordered"
• Whenever they say ANYTHING to you ALWAYS reply with "I know"
• When walking, push an invisible cart and make squeaky noises
• Call them a communist
• Disagree with ALL their views
• Pretend your invisible
• Complain about how ugly/fat you are
• Press the "power" button on on their computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the button to adjust brightness
• Answer a question with another question...optional: when they finally say a statement shout "I WIN"
• Ask someone to prove everything they say ("Hey, nice to see you" "PROVE IT")
• Insist to them you are family
• Tell them their fly is down when they're wearing sweatpants
  
• Move their bookmark ahead a few pages when they're not looking
• Fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say
• Insist that Miley Cyrus is better than the Beatles
• Insist that totally untrue things are true...like "No, really, I KNOW that Florida is next to California" or "Bush is still the president"
• "Forget" the punchline of a LONG joke
• Tell them their accent isn't fooling anyone
• Finish your sentences with "in accordance to prophecy"
  
• While golfing (for who knows why) say "swing batabatabat-suhwing batta"
• Lie obviously about trivial things
• Start each meal with licking everything and claim it's so they won't steal it

Some people just stink enough to deserve it. Am I right?

How To

I realized something very important today: blogs are actually really stupid. (unless it has SOMETHING to offer) My previous blogs of things I hate, and epiphanies , and blah blah blah, are stupid. In fact, the blogs I find myself wasting time reading are...ahem...asdkfstupidasdf;lk. What? Oh, I didn't say anything. Right. Soooo, I decided I'm going to actually offer something. We'll see how this goes.


How to make crappy wallets.
Step one: find crappy wallet materials...in this case, playing cards.
Step two: Tape playing cards together however you want.
Step three: Put stuff in the mass of cards somehow.
It should look like this
Good Job!!! And remember "if at first you don't succeed, stop wasting your time!"

Alright, now on to something more applicable to something else.

How to get rid of squirrels in the attic
Step 1: Have squirrels in your attic.
Step 2:Use lots of duct tape (or heavy-gauge wire mesh if you really want to) and cover up every single possible point of entry...or escape...for the squirrel.
Step 3: If you did Step 2 right, you are now stuck in your attic.
Step 4: Kill the squirrel. I prefer to use one of these three options:

• Shoot it. Shoot everywhere until you hit it. Bring lots of ammo and any choice of gun.
• Suicide Bomb. It's for the greater good.
• Fire.

Awesome! Now you have a cool wallet and did something useful for yourself.

How to catch a Harry Potter

Step 1: Go to Hogwarts. He likes it there.
Step 2: Become a Death Eater. This takes out all the looking, because he'll find you!
Step 3:Use a flamethrower. He won't know what it is and he won't expect it.

Step 4: Disguise yourself as a wizard disguised as a Death Eater disguised as a muggle. They won't accuse you of killing Harry Potter.
Step 5: Dig up his grave and keep his bones as a trophy!
Success! You caught a Harry Potter!
Well, you should feel fulfilled for a little while. I'll give you more "how-to's" when the fulfillment wears off.

Things That NEED To Be Removed From This Planet

This is a minivan. It is going to transport the things in this list off this corrupt planet and into oblivion....and then stay with them.

The Things Takin' the Ride:
1. Muse. Why? Every single time the lead singer dude takes a breath, it's like he's trying to suck up the entire population of China. Like a baby with whooping cough. It's disgusting.

2. Teens attempting to grow facial hair when they can't. Why? It's SUPER disgusting! I usually wan't to say "Shave off your hair or I'll shave off your head!!!" but I usually say "Yeah...it's definitely coming in..."
3. Les Miserables. Why? It's OVERdone, OVERrated, OVERplayed.
4. Andrew Robertson. Why? He's funny. I'm jealous. AND if I tried using his humor it wouldn't be funny because I'm a girl...I guarantee it. Am I saying Andrew is girly? Yup. (slightly just kidding...?) He's the one holding the flimsy flower girl...but everyone in this picture can hop in the minivan if they want-except for me of course.

5. Reality shows about midgets. Why? Why not??There is much much more, but I'm taking a quick break...for like a few days until I'm not lazy again. Just remember, these guys are NOT getting on that minivan!