Bookface

The life of a college student is very full and busy, but some students, like me, aren't that busy...in fact, our lives are incredibly BORING. Solution? Internet. Namely? Netflix and Facebook.

Facebook.

An incredible website with over 500 million active users. People, all declaring themselves to be over thirteen, exchange messages, upload pictures, update statuses...statusi, and stalk (a lot), among other things. However, I think that there could be some definite improvements. So, I'm creating (in my fictional land of things I daydream about doing and becoming famous and loved by millions for) a very original website called "bookface".

Here's some major differences between "bookface" and "facebook"

Screening. Each new user (invited by a current user) must complete a screening test WHILE hooked up to a lie detector. Blood or urine samples may be, but are not always, necessary. This way, we can prevent several kinds of "facebookers" from becoming "bookfacers"

• The sympathy-baiter. "could really use some good news now" "worst day ever!" "is sad" these are the statusessesi...that will never be allowed!
• The incessant inviter-"Support my cause!" "Come to my big thingy, everyone will be there" "I took the which famous president quiz are you and got Nixon. Which one are YOU?" "I'm inviting you to national hug a Mormon/Jew/College Student/Grandma day!"
• The quidnuc-The peeping Toms of Facebook. These people are just too careful, or lazy, to post anything ever, or update their status, or anything! Yet, when you talk to them, they'll bring up something you posted. They're on your page. Hiding in the shadows. Creepy...
• The paparazzi-I swear, some people make it their goal to get the most hideous and/or incriminating pictures of people, post them on facebook, tag them, and repeat. Many many times. This also includes the people who have cameras attached to their hips/eyeballs and constantly post more and more pictures. However, this doesn't count the people that take a ton of pictures, try to edit them with photoshop and repost them...because I'm one of those.
• Missionaries-Facebook is not the place to be posting updates on your religious beliefs. That's my personal opinion.
• The Updater of Minutiae-these people let you know when they're eating a sandwich, doing homework, shopping, talking to their grandmas, watching the latest Glee episode, or how much they love their dog/friend/girlfriend/mom, etc.

With my screen test, a series of elaborate questions will be asked to determine who is normal and awesome, and who is one of these guys...or something else terrible/embarrassing.

Also, bookface will be purple, not blue. Ads will pay for it, of course, but they will be invisible and silent.

There WILL be a dislike button, and even a boot button. The boot button sends a request to the bookface team to review the person who was "booted" and deny them access to bookface or not.

Instead of profile pictures, everyone will have profile portraits.

The consequences for someone messing with a bookface profile that is not their own will be DIRE. Like "pick a switch" if ya know what I mean.